A year of Magical thinking.
2020 – let the bygones be bygones.
2020 – A year of regretting. It is like, everything in life that happened or preceded before this came down to a single moment of regret – The question, Why? Why did you?
Regrets are as personal as fingerprints and therefore regrets are as unique as fingerprints. On looking back, there were very lesser things that I regretted growing up. It was more like things that I wish I had done, things that I had pursued with a vigor, with a sense of passion and with a refreshing sense of í ought to do that.
I just wish I had waited. I wish I waited through the turbulent phase of my life and just not rushed into something that I will all the more regret with my body, my mind and my soul.
2020 – A year that shook the world, the year that I waited patiently to just pass by. A year that I learnt a lot, the year I learnt to let go of things that are of utmost valueless.
Still by all means this year a few couple of wonderful things that happened. A new vehicle, the first vehicle that I purchased in my thirty fourth year! I got in touch with two-three people from my past and as always! I know for sure that it is always worth the investment in people.
I got to spend a lot of time with my own self. A year of lesser reading and more and more of introspection – what needs to be done in life henceforth. What needs to be simply accomplished to just move forward. The year 2021 waits for something that is beyond me- still something that I need to with all caution. Time to buckle up on all fronts in life,
All I need is some serenity to accept the twists of fate in my life and yet the willpower to rewrite something down the years! It is a note to the self, a reminder. A reminder to remember and reminded cautiously what ought to be done.
And on a different note, I was able to read A little life by Hanya Yanagihara, The Amnesia Clinic by James Scudamore, reread Lose Your Mother: A journey along the Atlantic Slave Route by Saidiya Hartman and Censoring Sexuality by Paul Bailey.
The tragic death of a dear cousin, the demise of the sweet grandmother and the sudden loss of an aunt left me wondering a lot more about the abruptness, futility and the banality of this life. An uneasy sense of angst and anxiety has set in, and that only frightens me all the more about everything,
A journey with a knowing burden awaits me. And that knowing can be simply unburdening.
Musings of a True Believer 