Just a casual conversation with a brother and a good friend Raku started me with this thought which I had been confronted with eternally, but avoided it at every contemplation i had possibly. And the precise moment when all thoughts will come tumbling down, is actually when you’re down in the dumps…. 

Not that every day, you happen to have a talk that leads you to a discussion that had been an haunting in you, All I had poured is basically me, but what I more importantly tell is I’m what I write, I’m also What I don’t write…  And as Jayakanthan puts it, “Please remember that what is written is not just a piece of paper, but a writer’s heart, Read it to respect too,…”

I had mentioned this in one of my previous posts, And when I say friends, It sounds a little tricky… for What is a friend and who is a friend differs a lot in every one’s perspective. Someone who makes you feel good, someone who brings you a smile for no reason, someone who makes you care, go for him/her. Nothing great can define a friend and a friendship … It is often the overstated or the understated…” 

Friendship has been the over-celebrated for all that, the way it has been constructed in our midst. Didn’t we all learn friendship and love, the way cinema taught us, And don’t we all go by the book? 

I had started to believe that basically someone comes into your life, and stay for a brief time, because they are meant to stay only for a brief while, They don’t leave/fade/disappear but they leave an impression on us.. They would have been the ones who would have made a big difference in our life… but we tend to forget the relationship shared/nurtured. It fades into an oblivion. 

I remember persons in my life with whom I grew up, the times shared/spent/wasted together are the only memories I have of them today, in reality, now I knew what they were/where they were, but honestly I’m clueless about their present and presence today. I cherish and relish them and the memories, knowing they are a part of reason for what I’m today… 
To justify, I have a hell lot of reasons, life asks so much, that I don’t have time to call/communicate/chat/scarp/text/mail/write. Nobody is to be blamed here, We have all screwed up human life so much in the name of everyday emergencies and modern life.
I am stuck, you are busy, basically we feel ignored to an extent and also we ignore to an extent that we forget Ignorance is the most subtle form of violence.  

But what amazes me is with certain people, there is no need of pretence, a need for a call after a day/week/fortnight/month/year!!! “Hey how u buddy” instead of “Why-the-hell-you-didn’t-TANTRUM” 

This post of my “withering-life-blues” doesn’t aim to propagate that I’m such a human company seeking person and people reject/ignore me.. I, with the best of my knowledge, had been a good friend-companion-brother to many, which makes my life more meaning-full than whatever I can academically-literally-financially achieve in the go. I’m not sure about this and I don’t give a guarantee that i have most number of friends, for I don’t count every number I have in my face book and orkut account as my friends, and not every class/room/team/batch/college/desk/school/university/ mate is a friend. I’m very particular about the usage of the term. A recent acquaint can very well turn into the lil-bro- you- never-had, in the course of time, whereas a person whom you know for a decade plus will be just the school mate, Wavelength matters a lot in any relationship.. 

I’m not still out of the loss of the dear departed friend, Someone who Just walked into life and fitted in exactly,, I had been just wondering how I still haven’t learned to put up with some one’s fading away to nothing. Memories don’t die. What got on me more was! How many would be affected if I was to leave now-where suddenly. That’s an intriguing thought, but still lately I had been giving it too  many a thought. 

I already have a guilt of not being around so many people, I had grown up with, and with many people I wish to see them growing up. That’s the magic of life, to be with someone,  to grow up with someone. These little things, which I have learnt, matters a great deal to me.. It is a helpless feel when I know i couldn’t be with a few, I have no words to explain that pain. I know that I’m not Omnipotent, I know it’s greedy to be around with everyone. 

But seriously! To how many I had been that important person matters a great deal to me? How many would miss me? Also I don’t want them to eternally miss me. I wish I had made a difference, I wish they learnt something from me. I wish to go away from them, once my purpose is over, I wish I have the enough courage. It sounds pointless when I thought about to write this, but it had been a haunting thought in me… 

I know Like how, I got used to things and certain people’s absence, And how I tell It’s another normal world, I know People would tell the same and move on with life! Am i greedy to tell this all now, What happened to me, That I think all this now? I know for sure, that at least one person who reads this, will tell , “You’ve gone nuts..” And one would say, “I understand”. Both would give me a smile. 

But honestly, something saddened me, with so many people going missing in life, I want to remember and be remembered with a smile and a twinkle in the eyes. I’m no perfection as a person, I have my own tantrums that i throw up, a few mild-tempers, a few inhibitions, a few wrongs, a few prejudices,  who encroaches upon people’s spaces, wouldn’t mind them for hours, if i want to,, The same just-like-you- a- person. Why but! i want to love and be loved perfectly?

Its just that I want to love and be loved! How possible that we just meet, become friends and start growing up with each-other? Is it really possible to meet someone, shower them with love and care and not to complain when the time has come to let go? How far can one go when it comes to love? Is it possible to stop loving just because the other is gonna go? Or is it okay to hide your love? love with-in, don’t show? get angry and leave? Turn out and move away? 

Well, Love in itself is a miracle, A healing! Come what may, I love and love, 
Is It not That we are born just to love? 
In short, love is worth, with every being of it in life.. 


  1. Rakesh Vanamali

    Sometimes I’m forced to believe that in life, there are no permanent friends….there are only permanent interests! Now that could be being very practical keeping in mind one’s own scheme of life and what one wants out of it! I’m rather fortunate that I dont always succumb to such a radical belief! But yes, the friends that we have are the ones that we do cherish! Thanks for being one of them! Well written post!


  2. Rakesh

    i support rakesh’s thoughts there are no permanent friends..have seen this case in my life too as time pass you tend to make new friends and it is not that you forget the old ones…only as you find people with common interest you tend to move apart


  3. MultiMenon

    dude,u aren alone in this world..And there are many who think all things cuda been better for good.. Everyone loves to be loved but wen it doesn rly hpn,do we go behind it??chasing??Not rly..!!Just tht we learn to live without em..Tho at sum point in sum corner of our mind,we do feel guilty..But,life’s like that.. 🙂Nice thoughts..Take care.. 🙂Nikhil


  4. Bedazzled

    wowww.. that was a huuugee post … there r friends and there are friends .. some u call friends cos they r there by default .. but just a select few that make u care or want u to be there .. i agree with the fb and orkut part ..a lot of people get added on cos we dont want to be rude .. but u know heart of hearts that they r not gonna be arnd when u want them .. wish memories didnt have an expiry date .. over the years , what we remember is a lot different from what happened .. we choose to remember what we want to .. bottle and seal them with a lot of preservatives ..for posterity! .. lovely post !!


  5. writerzblock

    Very true, and very strong post.I completely agree in that there are a few friends whom you don’t need to pretend with. And they, I believe are the ones who stay for life. When we meet, we don’t NEED to talk. We could just enjoy our silence, our thoughts together and come out feeling very happy. But these sort of friends are very few, which makes them more special.Enjoy your friends..enjoy life!! Live bindaas!Cheers..


  6. Ritu

    I enjoyed reading this post bro…becoz it reflected a lot of what I feel… friends, relationships, come and go, some make a mark, some don’t..but in the end I think we always gain something from each interaction and relation. I believe that we are born to love and when we curtail that feeling to love and reach out people around us, we go against our most natural instinct…There was a time when I stopped myself from reaching out to people wondering what they wud think of me.. Now I do what my heart tells me…and I am a happier person in general.yea..so we are born to love, to spread love… Go ahead and be who you really are.. 🙂


  7. Jeevan

    “I, with the best of my knowledge, had been a good friend-companion-brother to many, which makes my life more meaning-full than whatever I can academically-literally-financially achieve in the go.” Loved it bro 🙂 and what is we then without sharing our life. I agree that one could not always be with someone and they have the right to go along with there mind and business, but somehow it feels and pains that they are not like that before.I am someone who feels the pain of separation. I feel whatever we have grown up; we don’t and must not need to down our memories actually. What few are away through qualification or different in interest doesn’t mean shouldn’t listen to those we are interest before, may be we may chanced, but can’t expect the same from the other who bear our memories. Even though we have love at hear for them forever, we have a bound to share with them isn’t.


  8. Nautankey

    Very philosophical post :). Definition for friend surely does change,in Kindergarden its someone with whom we share biscuits and one who gives us the spiderman sticker.In adolescense its the one with whom we can trust n gossip about the the girls in class. During teenage its the ones with whom we hangaround and do all kinda cranky stuff.And when an adult..hmmm…I dunno how to define it :). Luckily I have the same bunch of frends for past 57-8 years,yeah had missed the older ones but then i know they r there for me [just as they do I am there for them]..Lemme stop else my comment may end up longer than ur post. On the whole a tocuhing post which made me think n enlist the friends I had met all thru my life though just for a few mins.


  9. The Seeker

    @ NautankeyHey Vinod!!! welcome to the World of Jobless. Yeah! rightly said, There is no standardization of a friend and friendship. And Thats true, when they grow up with you, and give you the feel that they would be always around as budding as ever, what say!! and Glad that you thought about ur friends for a few mins….@OceanWelcome here! buddy! sure i’ll drop in…..


  10. The Seeker

    @ Jeevan,Life happens, Things go, people change but friendship doesn’t change. It is just the times and situation changes,,, Something I believe in… Thanks Jeeva…@Ritu chechi!!!Thanks a ton for those warm words, It kind of reassures me,, And I believe i’m born to love….


  11. The Seeker

    @ WriterzblockHello pals akka, Agree with every word of you! friends make life special, How great is life with this beautiful thing called love…Cheers!!!@Man In PaintingThanks bro!!! TAke care! regards to the little one…


  12. The Seeker

    @Rakesh VanamaliNanni chetta!!!Thanks for those words of love, Take care@Rakesh,I agree buddy!!! But whatever friends are, they are just magical and beautiful who makes life beautiful..


  13. The Seeker

    @MultimenonThanks Nikhil,, Life’s like that!! I often keep telling me.. Quite true, we’re not just the one,… @BedazzledYup! Bhargavi akka, Memories have a magical way of bringing back our favorite yesterdays…And Nobody can rob off our memories … ANd don’t we all take care extra with memories.. True we do, to a great extent,, We relive then every now n then…Thanks for your insights!!! Take care akka, regards to ayythaan !!!


  14. workhard

    Hi, your posts are very touching and meaningful. Yes,we are all born to love but what if this is not reciprocated. It gets frustrating.< HREF="http://www.haiku.com" REL="nofollow"> Haiku poetry <>


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s