When life goes on and when you move forward, there are things that one should carry forward, provided it doesn’t hurt you in the journey. May be if leaving behind is easy, why should someone hurt themselves in carrying things?
I’m happy that I am able to sit today and write something, when I knew that my neighborhood is sleeping contently. I knew for that matter when I don’t write today, when I don’t speak today; I would never speak or write in my lifetime ahead. I stopped me, myself and my life. I knew that I’ve to do things (many things) in this pause that I’ve given myself. I probably also knew that I have to start again. But I wish I could stop everything, everything concerned with me. Understand one thing. Greediness does not always work.
Even I was a normal ordinary person in this normal ordinary world (but how I wish that I should have born in another world, preferably non-muggle world) oh! Sorry. When I speak about non-muggle world I keep speaking. But I’m not The Boy Who Lived. Also I certainly wish not to be Him. One last time please! I swear I would never pull this stuff again. Wish I knew magic. Oh! Sorry! Use the unforgivable curse” Crucio” next time I speak about it. Oops. It seems Only Dumbledore can save me from this madness!
But I stop to search/understand, when I start seriously thinking about serious relationships. Life has many ups and downs, comings and goings, also some come-backs and go-backs. Wish I had a remote to pause, play, stop, rewind and also fast forward (sometimes) I know that this is a total non-sense, but what you get always is a Non-sense when a no-sense person like me finds pen and paper at this unearthly hour. Life had always been meaningful when it was supposed to be meaningful. But the meaningfulness is complete and understood all the more when you feel meaningless. Sorry I don’t have a clue about what I’m speaking now. May be I lost track when I desperately tried to figure out the meaning. Never mind. I know this sounds absurd, for this is one piece of absurd writing which has been written haphazardly absurd. May be, In terms of computers, it can be easily understood; what you see is what you get, Junk in Junk Out!
I suppose this knowing you of the past (God Know How) four and half years has led me to one thing. Love you, what may come and what may go. Now it goes,
Dear most Alter,
Here goes the letter!!! Promise you one thing buddy. Never felt this way. I sound like no tomorrows will come, but may be because I don’t too much believe in tomorrow or tomorrow’s tomorrows. For your life is different, for mine is uncertain. May be frequent calls for the next (say generously) 3 or 4 months, sending forwards, scrapping once-in-a-while-when-you-are-online. Thanks to the globalized world, we have all gadgets and means to stay in touch but unfortunately no minutes and hours. Life changes drastically. I feel that I’ve been always in the other end. For greediness always meets the other end. Life goes on, but I stop to speak, desperately speak the unspoken and the also-spoken words.
Don’t ever ask me what made me write this non-sense, for either I’ve to speak for 4-5 hours at a stretch or write an essay to explain the inexplicable. Read if you wish, keep if you like; throw it away if you love. May be this will explain, a friend, a brother, a twin, an alter-ego, a brother from another mother. Never knew that a fifteen day casual friend-ship will lead to such disastrous results (at least for you).
I still keep asking me what made me call that day and speak. Life would have been different, very different (I wouldn’t have bothered about some Infosys Trainee in Hyderabad leaving somewhere) if I’d not called. Cursing/Blessing Graham bell is up to you. But instincts and intentions cannot be certainly blamed on some third person.
Life has been good. It was like looking through a window, the scene of a green day, two merry friends chasing butterflies, drinking honey and eating fruits (for god sake definitely not mangoes). It was good being with you, spending days (rather should I tell earning memories), stalking each other’s shadows, roaming about, hanging around and spending money (that too blessed with a buddy who never lets you touch your bill-fold) walking on the streets with hands on each other shoulders with ultimate sense of belongingness, the moments talked, spoke, cherished, dreamt, laughed, cracked, cried, whispered, gossiped, (boozed! Should I add?) Conversed, spent with/in each other’s company. It was like having a brother around. I honestly don’t know how I’ve looked at you all these days. But certainly looking back it adds meaning to everything what we had and what we still have and what we shared and what we still share….
In days to come, I look at the uncertainty longingly for I knew that we need to change in days to come, for what is true remains true and is true for ever, for life makes these changes forever, yet I promise to the same old friend. Take life as it comes, for what may come and what may go. In a foul or fair weather there is a weathered and withered friend whom you can count with all your fingers (even toes) for any days, months and years. I solemnly promise in our one liner that binds us.
We Be of One Blood: You and I
With good luck in every step of your life and fingers crossed forever in prayers. For all the good time and bad times that we lived through. In hopes of future, and future ahead of us. Promise to fulfill a life; here I go before you, for I spoke what has to be spoken now, with still abyss of unspoken world of words. Thanks for being an ever sweeter part in my life. Thanks for everything and every other thing.
And also with a promise to meet every now and then after this, (provided I walk on this earth to walk up to you and meet you.)
Yours in Love,
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