Uravugal thodarkathai, Unarvugal sirukathai goes a Tamil song. All relationships are beautiful. Am not just talking about a man-woman relationship. It can be anything that is between two friends, siblings, parent-child, even a random-stranger-met-other day. It’s not about the superficial things about the relationship. Here I mean the subtle deeper things, that forms the essential part of any relationship. “It is wrong to think that love comes from long companionship and persevering courtship. Love is the offspring of spiritual affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it will not be created for years or even generations”
The one important aspect that determines the strength of any relationship is time. It is the testing factor. We easily get attached to someone with whom we constantly spend time with, they need not be related to us. Just the constant Touch creates the magic of sharing and bonding. Again too much of intimacy will also lead to problems. Any relationship should have an enough healthy distance to breathe freely in their own individuals space. “Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue, a wonderful living side by side can grow, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see the other whole against the sky.”
In the beginning, we like a person for what they are, but eventually on knowing them, we start expecting from them. When this stage sets in, we create an illusionary projection of the other person and we appreciate that image of the person. When they don’t keep with what we think they’re, problems set in. And everything goes amiss. Its really difficult to be someone in a relationship. Its good when it is not a demanding relationship. “Sometimes you have to get to know someone really well to realize you’re really strangers.”
Its all about being oneself in a relationship and more importantly letting the others to be their own selves. Being in a relationship also doesn’t mean being enslaved to the other or enslaving the other. It is the highest form of appreciation of life, where we mutually live and let the other live. It is a kind of dependence, independent of the presence of other. One cannot really miss anything, when everything is still in the mind. There is no need to brood over the physical absence of someone. “You can kiss your family and friends good-bye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, your stomach, because you do not just live in a world but a world lives in you”
It is the detached attachment that matters more in a relationship. One cannot be simply any body’s [Courtesy Acknowledged] I believe that there can be nobody for us than our own self and soul. It is the highest level of respect and love that can radiate from the self to others. Yes I firmly believe that Love and relationships are an inspiration. Relationship is about knowing someone, getting into some one’s life, watching them grow before your eyes and to grow along with them. “The comfort – the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person – having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.” is the most-matured-mutual-relationship. Its like a ghost which everyone talks about but none has seen.
P.S Thanks Pooja for the insightful chat, which inspired me to write the post. Sorry couldn’t manage to get the permission to post the chat.
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